Beginnings, no endings

4 weeks have passed by in a flash. I can’t believe that I’ll be sitting on a plane in a few hours time homeward bound. Sitting in the airport, away from my children, I now have 30 hours of quiet ahead of me to sit and reflect on what I’ve experienced over the past month. At the children’s village, both the kids and the staff have brought me so much joy and such happiness. I think back on all the special times I have shared with some truly amazing children. I know that I am truly blessed, as even though I can only spend small amounts of time here, I am treated like family. The children have no idea how much they have helped me; they have warmed my soul and have reminded me of how wonderful, joyful and precious life is. Some of the house mothers are now like Sister’s to me. I have such a close bond with them that will never be broken. I know no matter where I am in the world, the family I have here is always with me.

Next I think about the time I spent in the local community. All those experiences which have put a lot into perspective for me come flooding back. I think about my special little girl and how she ran into my open arms as soon as she saw me. I remember the gratitude of her Mother and Uncle as I used the money so kindly given to provide the things she so desperately needs. I then recall all my other visits into the community, each of them a unique experience which will never leave me. Whether it be to visit a Crèche or a child that has left Rehoboth, it is still all too apparent to me that there will always be a need. I now reflect on the difficult task ahead of me as I return to England. This is only the beginning of my journey; there is still so much to accomplish, still a huge mountain to climb. I pray God will give me the gift of discernment, that he would show me where help is needed most. I also pray that the resources so desperately needed would always be available, that I would always have the passion and determination to do what I believe is right.
I realise that I’ve not posted as many pictures as you might have hoped. I intend on making a short film of my experiences, so rest assured there will be more to see in the coming weeks and months. As I’ve written many times, this is not a one off thing, a onetime experience; I hope and pray that I can continue to make provision for so many people with your help. I appreciate it might only be a small difference in a world which has so much need, but even by doing our own little bit, I hope we can change the world.
Amen, Siyabonga.

You make my Day.

I never want this day to end. My beautiful little girl is care free for a while longer yet. For a fleeting few hours, she can leave her life of extreme poverty for a brief reminder of what her life used to be like. Sitting in the play area of a family restaurant, every time I look up I find her coming down a slide or peering from the top of the climbing frame, the proud owner of the widest smile you have ever seen. Grinning from ear to ear, she catches my eye, giggles and runs off again to her next adventure. As she plays, I am reminded of a Zulu song we often sing in the morning, which translates to “I have joy, peace and happiness in my soul”. I certainly have all those feelings in my heart, and I hope everyone reading this does too. YOU are responsible for making this happen. Your generosity is astounding, I hope you all feel a huge sense of satisfaction knowing you have made a huge difference in the life of a little girl. There are many many more like her, and your donations will help some of those in need. Today, I spent £60 on clothes, shoes, a toy, some food for her family, and most importantly a few hours of playtime. I think I could sit here and watch her play forever. Right now, there is nowhere else I’d rather be and no one else I’d rather be with. She is a little girl who doesn’t say much, but if a picture paints a thousand words, her smile paints a million more.

Now a few hours later, I am back home struggling to write as the tears flow steadily. I left my little girl in the pouring rain to go back home. Arriving dripping wet, her very kind and gracious Uncle thanked me for the “gifts”,then quickly scooped up our little girl, plonked her on his back, covered her in his water proof and took the 4 heavily laden shopping bags in his arms. I watched them walk away until they disappeared over the brow of a hill. Then the tears came and they’ve hardly stopped since. Of both joy and sadness, I sit and ponder when will be the next time I get to see her. Will she be as happy and healthy as she is now? Will I even be able to find her again? But then I remember that I promised her that I would never forget her, and that I would never stop loving her. Those promises I will never break, even if I don’t ever see her again, she is in my heart forever. For that I am extremely thankful. I will never forget her smile or the words on the t-shirt she was wearing today- “you make my day”. How very apt. She has certainly made my day, I hope yours too.

I have a few more similar trips on the horizon in the coming days, as well as visits to 4 Crèches in the local community and as my last week approaches I sit and reflect on my time here. In a month I feel I have achieved so much, but as always there is far too much still to do. I pray that the time I have spent here was long enough to set the wheels in motion for a set of events that will be everlasting, bringing joy, peace and happiness, even if just for a few brief moments, to some very deserving children.

Thank you once again for making this happen.

Reunited at long last.

At long last I got to see my beautiful little girl again. At long last again I can prove to her that I will never break the promise that I made nearly 5 years ago. There hasn’t been a day in those last 5 years when I haven’t thought about that special little girl. We had such a connection right from the first time I met here in baby crèche. Now she is a stunning 6 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. She is no longer within the love and safety of Rehoboth, but I truly believe the stubborn streak which we both share will help her go on to great things. Hopefully, I will be able to encourage her and support her in this for many years to come.
Being reunited with her again is something I will never ever forget. Yesterday morning, we pulled up on the roadside about 50 metres from where she and her family are staying. There were maybe 15 children all running around, but I picked her out almost instantly. I recognised everything that I love about her- her shyness and the way she crosses her legs and cocks her head to the side when she is unsure about something, her stunning beauty that overwhelms me every time I see her and most of all her warm and friendly smile that never ceases to make me thank God for her life. Walking up the rocky path to her house she cautiously walked towards me with that shyness so apparent, not yet quite sure of whom it was. When she finally was close enough to see who I was, in an instant she recognised me and ran to me with open arms. I picked her up and held her so close to me and for the hour and a half I spend with her there we never let go. She gripped on to me for dear life and every now and then she would breath out a sigh of relief and squeeze me tighter.
It’s hard to describe exactly how I felt during my time with her. I think maybe I felt nearly every emotion there is to feel. At first I feel so relieved that we have managed to find her and that she looks to be in good health. I sit as her mother (who is in final stage AIDS), tells me how she is trying as best as she can to make sure that her little “Beauty” stays HIV negative. All her immunisations are up to date, the skin condition she has is, thank God, for the moment controlled well and she is still looking to be the right height and weight for her age. Then, I feel an overwhelming sense of love and compassion for a little girl who when I last saw her was only 3 years old. Even at that young age she kept me in her heart and mind and has not forgotten me, just as I haven’t forgotten her. I now feel so humbled that a child would hold me in her heart so tightly for so long- nearly half her life. I remembered how I had whispered in her ear the last time that I saw her “I will always love you, you are in my heart forever, I will never forget you and no matter where you are, I will always be with you.” I remind her of this and she squeezes me a little tighter again.
In the empty shell of a half-finished new house, I sit and listen as her mother describes the daily struggles she endures. She knows as well as I do that the time she has left with her children is short, but she remains strong for them, using every ounce of energy to care for them as best as she can. At this point I hear the other children playing and laughing outside. They have virtually nothing but they are still happy, they rarely complain and ask for nothing. They know they will get what they need wherever possible. Now I feel joy and peace in my heart.
As her mother becomes more comfortable and trusting in my presence she tells me how she has encouraged our little girl to have contact with her father. She tells me that the last time she picked her up from a weekend with her Father she finds her running around naked, all her clothes have been torn up and are lying on the ground all around the house. Her mother shows me the ripped and torn clothes. My emotions are running high at this point, inside I am filled with anger and disgust but I don’t show this to my girl, instead I place her head into my hands, remind myself again of her how beautiful she is, kiss her and then hold her even tighter than before. Next, I say to her mother that it would be a privilege if I would be able to replace some of the ruined clothes to honour her as the wonderful Mother she strives to be even in the face of a tremendous amount of adversity. She so graciously accepts my offer and we make a plan for me to take her little girl on an outing next Monday. Not wanting to wish away my time here I am so excited and simply cannot wait for our special time together. We leave knowing that she is safe and happy for now and I cry tears of joy for the full 30 minute journey home.
My little girl has no idea what she is responsible for creating. It is because of her that I asked all of you for your support. It is because of her that I will be able to go out and support many more children in the same way. Thank you all so much once again for making all of this possible and for supporting this little girl and hopefully many other children. You are helping mothers provide for their children.

God bless you all.