The Last Post

Well guys this is potentially the last time I'll get on to the internet before I leave on Tuesday. The last few days have -as has always been these past 3 weeks- awesome. Have had many more special times with the kids. On Friday we had some music on in the creche and I danced with all the toddlers. It was such a special time, I didn't take any pictures as it didn't want the kids to feel like the had to perform, I just wanted them to be themselves. We were dancing and prancing about having so much fun. I seriously didn't want the mom's to come and pick the kids up at 10, I would have happily danced all day with them. The look of absolute happiness on their faces was so amazing to see. They all have such big, warm smiles- they truly melt my heart. Even though some of them have endured such hardship, they are still happy and smiley. Simple things like dancing together gives them so much pleasure.
Whilst still visiting my kids, I've been spending more time with friends making it even more awesome. Thursday night was at cell where we had a wee birthday party. There was much merriment mainly in the form of laughing at our attempts on the singstar. It's been a while since I've totally let my hair down and "chillaxed" so all good for Lindsay. Then last night went out to the re-0pening of a bike shop just down the road. Was again a really nice evening spent with some amazing people. Now I'm just about to head off for the weekend with more friends to a nice house by the beach (shame it's tipping it down outside- at least it's not snowing!!!). I'll upload all the pictures from my last few days likely when I'm back in England so keep looking- they'll appear soon!
L
xx

Good times

Since I last blogged I've had so many more special moments with my kids. German measles is sweeping across the village (they don't get the MMR jab here for free- it would cost 10 pounds per child) so we've had a few kids off school. I've been spending time with them chatting and watching DVD's in the hope that I can distract them from the discomfort they're feeling. I'm still rather shocked that in a country where so many kids who are already so sick with HIV, TB or both won't receive the MMR immunisation. Crazy, huh?Anyhoo, I spent a lovely morning with the babies and toddlers in the creche. We actually had to hold it in one of the houses as the weekend storms caused flooding in the creche building. It seemed so much more relaxed and informal, I don't know why it just did. Another "wave" of toddlers are just on the verge of walking so we're keeping a close eye out so we can get it on camera when it does happen! It's such a joy andf priveledge to be able to see a child walk for the first time.

We've had 3 more arrivals this week and last and one on the way meaning that with 55 children placed at Rehoboth we are officially full. With 5 children in each house it's sometimes not an easy job for the mom's- especially if all their children are under 5!!! Not sure how well I would cope with that! I'm sure my own mum could sympathise with these women as she had 4 children under 4!! The older children however really do look after themselves, they're taught from a young age to help the mom's wherever possible, like doing a bit of wahing up, helping with the washing and cleaning. They do it so willingly, without fuss as they know how much their "aunties" do for them. It's so nice to see.

I babysat 15 children yesterday for a few hours as the mom's went for IT classes. It was an absolute breeze I have to say. Some of the kids watched "surfs up", some played soccer outside, others read books. I had two babies with me, but the kids were so good at looking after them I actually probably didn't really need to be there. When they started to get a bit restless I would take the babies, but otherwise I had to "wait my turn" before I could get some hugs in!! The older kids know how to work my camera so I let them loose with it and they took some rather good pictures:

I'm now not sleeping at Rehoboth, I'm staying with my amazing friend Reece who is my rock. She's just such an awesome friend and I absolutely adore her family. I'll still be driving through to Rehoboth most days, I just wanted to spend time with her as well. I'm actually going to visit her place of work as well as she works somewhere called "Place of Restoration". It's a foster home, housing 60 kids from all different backgrounds. Black, white, coloured, HIV positive, HIV negative it doesn't matter. If there is a need to place a child, it is placed while fostering or adoption is arranged. It's a completely different set up to Rehoboth, but I've fallen in love with the kids already. For the protection of these kids, some of which have been through horrendous hardships already in their little lives, I'll not be posting any pictures or writing about any specific children. I'll just be handing out hugs and kisses to them for free as always and trying to give them as much love as I can in a week.
I can't believe that I only actually have a week left in South Africa. I fly at midnight a week today. I knew that time would fly, but it's still a bummer to know that I'm going home in 7 days. Gonna try not to think about that one........

This is Africa and I wouldn't have it any other way

I'm sitting writing this blog in the middle of a typical African thunderstorm. After enjoying a morning and afternoon of glorious sunshine, with very little warning I'm now sitting looking out across the sky as bolts of lightning strike the ground all around me. Rain is pouring down and it's blowing a gale to say the least. I find it quite hard to believe that I was in the swimming pool with the kids only an hour again. This as they say is Africa and I wouldn't change it for the world. Speaking with Rob we both agree that while South Africa is enduring many hardships such as the AIDS crisis, poverty, a corrupt government etc that's what makes this country what it is. It's because of these things that make the people like they are- friendly, warm, inviting and so loving. I come across countless people everyday who have very little, yet what little they have they would willingly share with me even though they don't know me. Then I come across the gas station pump attendant who will allow us to put 5 litres of diesel into our car which has run out of diesel even though we have no money so we can get home.That was a funny moment. Rob and I went to pick some bread from the supermarket, we knew we had very little fuel but we thought we would get there but nope as we came out of the supermarket the car just died. Neither of us had any money, but we managed to persude the petrol guy to give us 5 litres and then we would go back later with the money. Not convinced that would happen in England.

Anyhoo have had more exciting times with the kids these past few days. On Wednesday I took more of the kids shopping for new clothes. One of the boys I took was the little boy that I mentioned in my last post- the one who I thought would die before I got back out to South Africa. He has no idea what we were doing, he looked so worried in the car, I think he thought that I was taking him back to the hospital. But once we got past the hospital he perked up a bit. When we got to the shopping centre he was still rather confused (his english is still quite bad, I don't think he understood what I was saying) so I plonked him in a trolley (he literally walks like less than 1 mile an hour) and we headed off to the shops. I kept picking out clothes and showing them to him and he again just looked confused. It was quite comical bless him. This child is nearly 5 and he wears clothes size 18-24 months!!! Eventually when I had picked out lots of clothes for him to try we went into the fitting room and then he realised what we were doing. As soon as I told him to take off his t shirt and try a new one he started grinning from ear to ear, the penny finally dropped. We tried on lots of clothes (t shirts are like less than £1) and then went to find him some shoes. As we were walking around he was clutching onto his piles of new clothes for dear life. When we finally went to pay I saw relief in his face- he knew they were now his. By this time we had only been shopping for about an hour but he was finished. He looked so tired bless him. So I got him some ice cream and we went home. By the time I got back to Rehoboth he was fast asleep and looked as though he was in absolute bliss without a care in the world. Good times. Speaking of good times, here are a few more pics of the kids- you wouldn't believe how much some of them have grown and developed in only 8 months!

We had a few birthday's this week. The boy below only arrived at the village a week ago and he's already had his first every birthday party. He looked so happy the whole time.

This little beauty is the "premie" baby that arrived shortly before I left in March (picture of me with her in one of my older posts in Feb/March). At only 2.5kg at 4 months, she was very small, but look at her now celebrating her first birthday! Also huge news in that she is actually also HIV negative- praise God!

On Wednesday night I got to see the kids dance in a show. The school children get hip hop dance lessons once a week. Every single child has such an amazing sense of rhythm, but they are all so unique in the way they dance. I was so proud of them when they were dancing. After the performance there was a presentation as all of the children in the show did dance exams this week. All of our children passed and one even got a trophy for "best hip hop grade 1". He didn't know he was getting the trophy so he was so shocked when they called his name. Again the feeling of pride was overflowing inside.

On Thursday night I met up with more friends at my old cell group. I've missed those guys so much. They're all just so chilled and relaxed, they have a great effect on me. Even though we had no power because of the storm we just sat and chatted. It didn't feel like I had been away from these guys for 8 months. It felt so normal. Made me realise that I really don't make it a big enough priority to stay in contact with these guys. Who can guess what my new year's resolution will be....

An emotional reunion

Finally I got to see my beautiful children, after 8 months of thinking about them and longing to be with them every single day. The reunion was awesome. I just rocked up out of the blue, walked along to where they were all playing together and just casually said “hi guys”. They looked up and said “hi” back and then looked away. They then did a double take saw that it was me and all came running up to me screaming “Auntie Lindsay”. Is was just so awesome. They were hugging me and telling me how much they had missed me and how happy they were to see me. For the first time in a long while I felt completely relaxed and insanely happy. I was home, I was with my kids. After that reunion I had many more with the younger children and all the mom’s. Each time I went into a house and saw the kids they recognized me straight away and came running. I would then move onto the next house with all the kids in tow until I finally reached the last house with more than 30 kids by my side. It was such an emotional reunion and I managed to hold it together until the very last house. When I left South Africa in March I left a little boy dying in the local hospital. He had multiple infections, we thought he was in final stage AIDS and would die. When I said goodbye to him I really though that was it. I was even praying that God would have mercy and take that little child to be with him in heaven. But he survived, he is now happy and relatively healthy. So for me to see him again was just so amazing I just burst into tears. My little boy is still here, my little boy is happy, my little boy is no longer in pain. God did have mercy on that little boy, He did heal Him. He is a walking, living miracle. Yesterday I had the immense pleasure of giving him a little motorbike. He was grinning from ear to ear when I told him it was his.

I still can’t get over how much some of the children have changed. More than 3 of the toddlers who were just starting to crawl when I left are now running about laughing and chatting away. The older toddlers are speaking very nicely. I can sit with them and have a proper conversation. The school kids have matured and the shy ones are starting to come out of their shells. When I walk into devotions in the morning the kids all come running up to me wanting to grab my hand. This morning I could hardly move there were so many of them around me. I sit with at least 3 children on my lap and countless others either side of me and in front of me. The feeling of love is awesome, I never want it to end. I couldn’t possibly describe how much I love each and every child. I love them as if they were my own and I will never stop loving them. Being back with them shows them that I haven’t forgotten about them. When I left in March I told them all that I would think about them and pray for them everyday and that someday I would return to see them. I don’t think they 100% believed that until I arrived on Saturday. Now they know that I will never forget about them and that I do think about them everyday. These kids have endured such hardships in their small lives before coming to Rehoboth. False promises have made it difficult for them to trust people. I have always said to the children that I will never break a promise, I haven’t yet and never will. Most of you know that I have been sending out birthday presents to all the kids while I’ve been home. It has cost me a small fortune but I’ve seen the rewards. I always send a card with a picture of me and the child along with a present so that they will always be reminded of what I look like. The cards I send are up on the pin boards in all the houses. It was so touching going round the houses and seeing the pictures up there. Now I know that while they are sitting eating dinner they can look at the picture of me and know that I love them with all my heart and that even though I am far away they’ll always be in my heart. I will never forget them, they are my children and I am so unbelievably privileged to be a part of their lives.
It’s been so great seeing all my friends again too. Had a huge emotional reunion with an amazing friend called Reece at church on Sunday morning. She is such an awesome friend, I’ve missed her so much. We ran into each other’s arms and hugged for ages. I didn’t want to let her go. But I did as we had to continue with the service. Then near the end of the service while we singing the benediction Reece’s son appeared out of no where, wrapped his arms around my leg, gave me a huge hug and ran off again. It was so lovely. Then last night I met up with about 15 more friends and had dinner with them. We sat and chatted all evening just like old times. Most of the guys are in a band together so they were practicing in the background. They are all such amazing musicians and make truly inspiring music, was such a privilege to sit and listen to them. Hoping to have many more evenings like that before I leave.
I’ve quickly got back into the swing of things here, I’ve been working in the crèche playing with the toddlers and pre school kids, whilst giving the babies lots of hugs (such a hardship!). I’ve also had the pleasure of taking some of the kids out shopping for new clothes. Yesterday I took one of the new little girls who has probably never had clothes bought for her in her life. Everything she chose was so pretty and girly, most of it pink. The smile on her face got bigger and bigger as our time together went on. She was in absolute bliss. It was so lovely to see. Today I took one of the maid’s (Busi) children out shopping for school clothes. I decided a while ago that I would pay for her to go to the same school that the Rehoboth children go to. I knew that Busi could never afford to send her to school and knowing what that family has been through in the last few years I just knew that this beautiful little girl needed someone to give her a chance to make something of her life. So we shopped for school clothes, a bag, shoes, pencil case, lunch box etc. Again she looked as though she was in absolute bliss! I showed her mum everything I had bought and she just broke down in tears. I could see in her eyes relief as well as joy knowing that her child now has a chance to really make something of her life and hopefully avoid going through what her mother has gone through. I must have only spent about 40 pounds on her, if that. Such a small amount of money that has made such a huge difference. Think we could all learn a little from the experience I had today.

Honey, I'm home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back on the Southern Hemisphere!!! Woop Woop!!!
Right now that's out of the way, let's get cracking! Or not as the case may be. I'm currently sitting at the computer in my pyjamas with a cup of tea, blogging without a care in the world. Looking out the window the sun is shining, the sky is blue, there is a slight refreshing breeze, what more could I ask for!
My flights yesterday were fine, no major issues, just slightly delayed leaving Amsterdam. The business class lounge was an absolute joy. Just sitting around, munching on caramel waffles with a cup of tea, it was quiet and relaxed. I looked insanely out of place in my baggy pants and comfy hoody, but no one actually seemed to care. On the plane I had all the leg room I could possible hope for, it was chilled and relaxed. Food wasn't great I have to say, but hey at the end of the day I'm here and that's all that matters. Now the next adventure will be negotiating Joburg airpoirt once more and getting down to Durbs tomorrow. Then it will be reunion time. Can't wait!
Apparently the internet cafe which I used to blog the last time is no longer there, so I'll be on a mission to find somewhere else on Monday! Wish me luck!
L
xx

Deja Vu

Well here I am again about to embark upon yet another epic trip to my beloved South Africa. After being home now for 8 months I just couldn't wait any longer. I miss Rehoboth so much, I miss my beautiful children so much, I miss my awesome friends so much and I miss a country that will always hold a special place in my heart.
Looking back over the posts I did during my 6 month stay I am reminded of how amazing God is, and how amazingly blessed I am to be able to go back. Yes, I'm only going for 3 weeks, but that doesn't matter. This time round I'm even more excited. I don't have any nerves (apart from nerves about flying), I'm just so eager to get to Durbs, get in the car, get down to Rehoboth, drive through the gates, jump out of the car and run into the arms of my kids who don't know I'm even coming (hoping it will be a nice surprise for them). My kids whom I've thought about every single day since I left. I often sit and wonder what they are up to. I can't wait to see how much they've grown in 8 months. Some, I know will be barely recognisable but in a good way. A good way because when they arrived at the village they were malnourished, covered in scabies, unbelievably unhappy and severely underweight, but now they are flourishing, they are settled, they are happy, they have literally had a fresh start at life.
That's what I think I'm looking for in a way- a fresh start. I know it sounds weird but I kind of feel like I've been in limbo for the past 8 months. Don't get me wrong I am happy in myself, I am happy in my job and I do feel very blessed but I just feel like something is missing. Because of this, I'm not sure of my future at present. I'm constantly putting off making any firm commitments as to whether I'll be effectively "setting up camp" here in the North East for the forseeable future. Something is holding me back. I feel like this trip is a chance for me to be quiet and listen. Away from the busyness of work, friends and family I can just completely relax and take time to see where I go from here and I have to say I'm rather excited by it all.
So now I've rambled on for far too long, I'm off to do the packing. I'll be updating as much as I can depending on internet availability with pictures and stories. Happy reading.

L
xx

Tying up loose ends

Time has flown by at a scary pace these last six months. It feels like only a short time ago that I was new in South Africa adjusting to my new way of life. Now in a short time I will have to do the complete reverse and readjust to my old life again. Robbie and I have been talking quite a lot about coming home these past few days. We both have such mixed emotions about it all. We both agree that while seeing family, friends and familiarity as soon as we get back, waking up on Sunday morning and not being at Rehoboth will be the pits. We both asked each other what the three things we were most looking forward to when we get back home. My first was just being in the arms of my parents. Seeing them again in the airport I know I’ll struggle to keep it together but they’ll be strong for me. I know they will be my strength as I get used to life without my 41 amazingly beautiful and unique children. Then my second was seeing all my friends again, I know they will also play a big part in getting me through. Then finally my third I’m ashamed to say is my car. I do miss my car. But not just my car, I’ve missed just being able to jump in and go wherever I please. Here obviously the cars aren’t mine so I have to use them within reason. Also it’s not safe for me to drive by myself at night here so going anywhere is usually a no no (better to be safe than sorry). So being able to drive at night and generally any other time of the day and feel safe will be a nice thing to go back to.
Last week has been like every other week- very busy and eventful. Firstly we found out that one of our newer little baby boy’s is HIV negative. His brother who is also here is positive so it really is a gift from God that the little one is negative. Praise God! Also I made some real progress with the 4 year old little boy that I’ve talked a lot about in recent weeks. One day in baby crèche I lay down and plonked him on my chest. He sat on me and played with his cap and then lay on my chest and cuddled in. I said nothing, did nothing, just let him lay there. A few minutes later he started chatting away to me. His words made no sense but he was communicating- a real first for him. He usually only speaks to the little boy he lives with. He then sat up and gave me a high five and then lay down again and cuddled. I had tears in my eyes as he lay. Finally some emotion from this little boy, finally some form of communication. In a way I feel like my work is done now. I know it sounds stupid but I’ve spent so much time with this little boy trying to encourage him to accept his new surroundings and express himself that having him cuddle in properly and communicate was such a huge thing for me. It seems to have made these 6 months even more worthwhile. It’s moments like these that will stay in my heart forever. No matter where I am in the world or what I’m doing this little boy will always be in my prayers. Unfortunately this high didn’t last very long as I’m very sad to say that the little boy is back in hospital with not one, but 4 different infections- a sign that he is in the final stages of AIDS. He has mastoiditis, and ear infection, gastroenteritis, TB and possibly hepatitis as he’s a bit jaundice. I’ve been to see him as often as I can. Each time I go he is in a different bed and as soon as he sees me I see slight relief in his eyes and then a desperate longing for me to pick him up and just hold him. His breathing is very laboured and he is in so much distress. All I can do though is love him. I walk around the ward with him and sing to him. There’s nothing else I can do but try to give him at least some comfort during all this. His pain is visibly horrific and the only form of pain relief is paracetamol. Guys again this boy is in dire need of your prayers!
Another special thing that happened last week came from one of the staff who runs the baby crèche. I was helping her out tidying and sorting stuff in the crèche and we were just chatting away as we usually do. We got onto the conversation about me leaving and she was asking if and when I would be back. I’m not sure what God has in store for me yet, but I do know that I’ll definitely be back to Rehoboth in the near future. Whether it is for just a little holiday, 3 months, 6 months or a lifetime I don’t know, but I do know I’ll be back. She was very pleased to hear this as she said that I treated her and the rest of the staff with so much respect. She said that I always asked her to do something not demand it, and that I always said hello, asked how she was and thanked her for her work. I didn’t treat her any differently than I would a white person. I have been brought up to treat people as I would expect them to treat me. I have been taught that manners are free. Saying please and thank you doesn’t cost anything no matter who it is. It was so lovely to hear her say these things to me as I came out here wanting to treat all people as equals in a country where everywhere else that doesn’t happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not intentionally trying to criticise this country. Unfortunately due to a whole host of factors there is little equality here due to a whole heap of things that happened in the past. I cannot pretend that I know or understand everything that happened in the history of this country. What I do know is that no matter where I personally am in the world I will treat all people with the same amount of respect, as that’s what I’ve been taught not just by my parents but also by the big man himself, God! Amen, that’s all I’m going to say on that one!
For our last weekend in South Africa we went up the coast to stay in Durban for a nice well-earned relaxing weekend. We went with one of the management couple and their two most beautiful and amazing children (man am I going to miss this family!!!). We spent time with their friends and had so much fun. These are the type of people that I would be friends with back home, so even though I didn’t know them very well I could just relax and be myself which is just what I needed. We went to a big rugby game on the Saturday night. They’re in the middle of the Super 14 tournament involving teams from South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia so there is some high class talent on show. It was a really entertaining match and we won which was of course a bonus. We watched the match from the stands but got to go in a corporate box after the match (free drinks-woo!). It was a fantastic evening just chatting about rugby and other stuff, made me feel so close to home.

I’ve had two experiences in the community these past few days. Firstly last week I went to a crèche that is run by the Methodist church in the community. There are 63 children that go and only 2 ladies who run it most days. The children are amazingly well behaved, speak English and Zulu and seem to be quite bright. They attend this crèche as their parents work and siblings are at school. They get breakfast and lunch provided which is such a blessing to these kids who live in one of the poorest areas of KwaZulu Natal. They are so eager to learn and are so polite. They all stand in a queue for lunch so patiently, even the ones right at the back don’t complain and are grateful for their food even though most of the other kids are finished by the time they get theirs. The crèche usually finishes around 2pm and the kids get picked up by siblings how attend the local school. Without this crèche these children would literally be homeless for the day. Their parents would go to work and lock them out of their houses. They would just wander around which is just so unsafe. The work the women do to keep that crèche going is amazing; God is truly at work there. Please pray that God would continue to bless that crèche not just financially but with loving women to run the place and give the children some hope.

We also painted the outside of one of the housemother’s houses last week. It was such a small gesture from us but it made such a huge difference to her life. All we had to do was give the small house (two tiny rooms- no bigger than your lounge probably at home) a coat of primer and then a top coat of light green paint. It was baking hot while we were painting but it was enjoyable nevertheless. The house is near a local government school so when school finished there were lots of children walking by. They all looked so stunned- I’m sure they were quite confused as to why white people were painting a black persons house. We waved and said hello to as many as we could and they all eventually waved back after they were over the initial shock of seeing us. It served as a good final reminder of what I leave behind and the fact that I return to a society where equality is so much more real.