If you overcome your fears, abundance appears

We all have our own fears, which sometimes become so real they consume us. When we can’t see past our fears, all that is visible to us is anxiety, panic, dread. But, if we can rationalise our fears then as the title of this blog states, abundance appears. I must credit this little saying to a guy I met today. He is still young and lost both his parents to HIV nearly 7 years ago. He got past the pain and the sorrow of grief, and was then met with fear. But, seeing how it was overwhelming him and through much prayer, he took the decision to overcome his fear. He is now an independent, strong and confident young man in his second year of university, training to be an accountant. Getting past his fear opened him up to the freedom of abundance in so many different ways.
Without judging the people of South Africa, I can imagine that the feeling of fear is all too often overwhelming. The fear of not being able to provide food for your babies, the fear of contracting HIV, the fear of dying of TB, the fear of being robbed. We can’t change what has happened, nor do we have any control over many of the issues, but there are small things we can do to help at least alleviate some of that distress. The less fear we feel, the more abundance will become clear to us.
I started to plan all my trips into the community today, and it filled me with fear. I started to think about everything that could go wrong, rather than the abundance of things that could go right. In a way my fear could be considered as healthy. After all I am going into a community as a minority, some might not want me there. Would I be seen as a threat or a target? But on the abundant side, I could achieve so much, even the slightest positive change would make this whole trip a roaring success. I can’t change the world in 4 weeks, but I can be the catalyst for a chain of events that will hopefully explode into action after my all too brief encounters. I pray that it would be the latter and that God will keep me safe. Maybe with the money you have all so kindly given we can swap fear for abundance.

On a much lighter note though, my welcome back to Rehoboth and the children far exceeded my expectations. I was met with screams of joy and delight not only from the children but the Mom’s and staff too. Truly now my kids know I love them and that the promise I made nearly 5 years ago hasn’t and will never be broken. They will be with me always, no matter where I am in the world. The younger ones who were babies when I last left are now in preschool and are developing nicely. Those who were in preschool are now at school and are keen to tell me all about their favourite subjects and who their friends are. The oldest children are now young adults, showing so much maturity and confidence, looking forward to a future rich in good health, joy and happiness. They all have a clear vision of what they want to achieve in life.
I spent some time in preschool today with two boys I never imagined would still be with us. The last time I left South Africa, one of the boys was in hospital with TB fighting for his tiny life, the other was 3 years old but could not yet walk or talk- his frail little body not capable of supporting his precious life. Now they are both flourishing, preparing to start school next year. God truly blessed those little children, they are miracles and I cannot praise God enough for them. I tell one of the little boys that I used to visit him every day when he was in hospital, praise God again that he has no recollection of this, he remembers none of the pain and suffering which I used to associate him with. All he knows is the joy that is so apparent now in his life. And for me slowly the memories of finding him day after day lying forlorn in his hospital bed or banging his head against the harsh metal cot bars will disappear with every new encounter I have with him. Not only is he healing, but I am too. Amazing things are done here, long may it continue.

An indelible Impression

John Wood, author of “Leaving Microsoft to Save the World”, comments on “Hope and Optimism, not doom and gloom”.
“Everyone knows there is poverty in the world, and almost all of us are saddened by it. Some charities find it effective to show photos of a child covered in flies, or a malnourished family covered in dust….. These images negate the inherent dignity of each human being….. The tears we shed should be of joy…..”
More than anything I want to respect the people I come across on my trip. They are striving to do the very best they can in a bleak situation. With more hope and trust in God that I could ever dream of having, they soldier on regardless of what is thrown at them with few complaints.
It’s a complete lottery as to where you are born and what you grow up with. I grew up in relative wealth, surrounded by a loving family. My parents have supported me and my siblings nonstop. They have watched us grow; they were committed to coming to every single music concert, sporting occasion, university open day and significant milestone. In return they taught us about commitment and being charitable with our time and resource. I owe them everything, my entire life. I remember being part of different clubs when I was young. We went rain, hail or shine. Not feeling like going was not an option, we had committed to it so we went. At the time it frustrated me sometimes, but know I now that was an invaluable lesson learned. And, because of my Mum and Dad and the principles they taught us, look where my brothers, sister and I are now. In our own very different ways we are living out the principles we were taught, and making a difference. Why am I saying all this- because through the opportunities that were available to me as a child, I’m now preparing to go out into the community in South Africa and work with people who need us. But, because of how I have been raised, I have the gifts and tools to do this in the right way. I’m not going to just give out food parcels and then feel really good about myself. I am there to try and make an indelible impression, a lasting difference to try and repay some amazing people who have helped me in ways they will never know.
A black South African wants exactly the same opportunities for her own children. She can teach them the all the principles and lessons to be a committed world changer, but she lacks the resource for the follow through. This of course through no fault of her own and certainly not a lack of dedication to her children. What she can give however, is love and affection, this of course comes for free.
All this said, I do truly believe everyone’s problems and issues are relative. We have no right to suggest an English persons problems are less important than a black South African’s. But, that said, while I might grumble about the price of petrol being sky high, I have very little control over this. What I do have control over is my energy and focus and commitment. Should this not be on the mother who doesn’t know when her children will next get a meal? She relies fully on God, she puts her trust in JEHOVAH JIREH- the Lord who provides. I hope I can give some sort of lasting provision to even just a few families with the money you have all so kindly given. To close, I am reminded of John Wood’s comments in his book and I intend to replicate this in all my work. While I may show some pictures of poverty and injustice, I will strive to maintain the dignity of every individual I meet. But at the same time I will display as many pictures and videos of the happiness you are responsible for creating. It’s not our fault that we are rich and others are poor, but we can change that in our own small way and you have helped do this.