Point of no return

Sitting in devotions on Thursday morning a baby started to cry. Instantly without even looking up I knew exactly which child was crying and exactly why she was crying. At that point I realised that there is no going back now. These children have moved me in a way I couldn’t ever attempt to successfully describe. I have such a strong connection with each and every child, a connection I now know after the experience of Thursday morning will never leave me. As you all know I have no children of my own but I can now begin to appreciate how much a parent loves a child. When the children are crying real tears and are visibly in pain or are suffering I feel their pain. Deep inside. I went to one of the houses on Thursday afternoon and found one of the beautiful little grade 1 school girls sat at the table with a heartbroken expression on her face. I instantly went to her and asked what was wrong. She didn’t answer. Instead her huge brown eyes filled with tears which then silently rolled down her cheeks. She said nothing and for 10 more minutes sat and continued in the same way. I asked if she was sick, I asked if something had happened at school or at dancing. I asked if someone had said something nasty to her but each time I got no reply. I couldn’t get through to her and it broke my heart to see her so visibly distressed. No matter what I did I couldn’t lift the sorrow from her heart. I cradled her in my arms; I tried to make her laugh but nothing worked. Again I knew that now there is no going back. My life will never be the same. These children will always be a huge part of my life. As I write the words of an amazing song called “Albertine” by a phenomenal Kiwi Artist called Brooke Fraser spring instantly to mind:
“Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead. Now that I have held you in my arms, I cannot let go…….”
Never did I realise how much a child can touch your life in such a way as to leave you completely changed without they themselves even noticing.
We also had the privilege of going out and working in the community this week. One of the external workers had a new house build last year however the outside had yet to be painted so the volunteers and I went to her house and gave it a coat of brilliant white paint. she was overjoyed by our efforts even though all we did was put two layers of paint on the outside of her house which is smaller than my bedroom at home. Half a days work and what a different we made. From the hillside the house now stands proud. It was such a strong statement to the community- 5 white people working for a black family. Never before will they have witnessed what we did- and they probably won’t again. It was so humbling because what we did seemed so small but the appreciation was huge. The difference between developed and developing has never felt bigger………